I run therefore I am...tired

My running career started at a stand still - well not exactly still, but having been a goalkeeper since I was 10, running came in the form of a sprint -usually a mad dash- interspersed with standing. It was an interesting introduction.

But I may be getting ahead of myself. Fact is, I became a goalkeeper to avoid running. Having started out playing soccer as a wee sprite I eventually figured out through a series of long games and lots of running that I didn't like to run. So I was blissfully placed into the position that no one on the team wanted. Being the goalie. I got to boss people around and I didn't have to run. I had it made.


It was this position on the soccer field that led me to play up on through college. [Enter running career].

Apparently as a D1 soccer player, regardless of position, you have to run...and fast. This was something I had never encountered before. Needless to say it was a shock to me as well as my knees that I would have to complete a 3:00min half mile 2x at the dawn of preseason.


In light of this (and not a little bit out of fear) , I strapped on my ill-used running shoes the summer before that preseason and started running. Now, I fear I will disappoint because there was no euphoria or instant love connection during the run, in fact there was more walking and heavy breathing but between breaths, there was something. A feeling that is the same feeling that gets my running shoes on time and time again now even though soccer has past.

It is the feeling that you get at the end of a run, knowing you have given it all. You're spent. In my book, there is no better feeling. It is a glorious tiredness.

Your legs feel heavy but there is a skip in your step.

You're chest hurts but you can breath and think clearly.

And though all you want to do is sleep, the world you see looks a little brighter.

At the end of a workout, when your body is trying to catch up to what you have just put it through, when you can look ahead to your day knowing that you have accomplished a big thing already. That is the feeling that will always compel me to run. That is what I found through the fitness tests and 3:00 half miles. The agony and the ecstasy.

Becasue of this feeling I now run more often than play soccer. And though I never considered myself a "runner", I am forever grateful to the thing that I once avoided. Being a college athlete has passed (as have the 3:00 half miles, thank goodness) but I will always consider myself one for one reason. I have felt the tiredness. I have felt the burn. And I have felt the glory.